About Marriage Counselling.

When your marriage is in conflict, and you’re both in trouble.

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You may believe: “but we’ve tried everything already!”. Yet, meeting with Marriage Counsellor: Dean Richardson MBACP(Accred) MNCS(Acc) may surprise the both of you on how effective marriage counselling can be.

It can be a relief at what a professional perspective brings a relationship.

You see, although Dean is a fully qualified and experienced marriage counsellor he has an advantage that you both do not…

…he isn’t involved in your marriage in the same way you are; he is able to see the wood for the trees.

Dean avoids taking on the role of a “marriage expert”; because experts judge, prescribe and “tell”.

Dean’s therapeutic approach is to encourage curiosity (employing use of effective therapeutic frameworks) because curiosity can bring new knowledge. Knowledge brings the marriage the power to make new decisions (again).

When your marriage is struggling to exist and you’d like to bring back the happier, calmer times, Dean Richardson is the marriage counsellor for you.

A Summary of Marriage Counselling.

No Waiting

NHS and charity counselling services often make you wait until the next counsellor is available. Going to a private marriage counsellor, you may often have your first appointment arranged for the following week.

Weekly

To be effective, marriage counselling sessions are (of a minimum) weekly. Any more time between sessions weakens the effectiveness of our work. Regular weekly sessions also help with budgeting, arranging baby-sitting, and provides a containing safe place where you may both focuses on your marriage.
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Not Time Restricted

Couples’ lives together are not limited by time, so neither is marriage counselling. We’ll first clearly identify the problems, then you will have a choice: work on the problems alone, or continue to work in counselling during regular sessions.

Suitable for…

Suitable for adult marriages in any form of marital relationship (traditional, non-traditional, gay, lesbian, same-sex etc). Marriage Counselling helps unstick the stuck – enabling you both to work together again.

Marriage Counselling in Havant.

Marriage Counselling is an effective therapeutic intervention for adults: intimate marriages, platonic marriages and celibate marriages.

Marriage Counselling supports both you and your partner together in identifying and then working-through the marriage’s problem(s).

With the counsellor’s intervention, you will both be creating your own unique therapy, ideal to your unique relationship.

We stop when the marriage can make the counsellor redundant (which means you can work on the problems yourselves on your own).

Dean’s approach to marriage counselling helps the marriage not only address current problems, but also prepares the marriage to manage new conflicts in the future.

Marriage Counselling using effective systemic / psychodynamic therapeutic interventions, without reference to religious or moral rules, encourages a marriage to teach each other how to work their relationship through conflicts.

Non-Traditional Marriages!

My approach to couple counselling allows me to work with all sorts of couple relationships…

  • Parental/child relationships (adults only)
  • Sibling relationships (brothers, sisters, twins)
  • Flatmates
  • Neighbours
  • Friends
  • Good-on-paper-but…
  • Long distance
  • Co Dependent / Independent
  • Dominating / Submission
  • Rebound
  • Toxic
  • “Trophy”
The systemic/Psychodynamic theoretical models and approaches I use allow me to respect and learn from your particular form of marriage without imposing any form of judgement or offering any form of normative “a normal marriage in your situation would…” prescriptive interventions.

What happens in Marriage Counselling?

Generally the first few sessions of couple counselling are known as an assessment.

The couple and Dean work together to discover what the relationship needs to focus upon (“the focus”).

The couple might think they know what the problems are, but often they are surprised to learn new facts as we unpack the relationship.

Some couples remain in counselling for support in working through the focus, whereas others leave counselling able to work on the focus themselves.

An aim of Dean Richardson’s couple counselling is to enable the couple to see their marriage with different eyes, listen with new ears, and feel with different approach.

The couple will discover how they can address their own problems themselves without further need of future counselling.

Dean Richardson’s Distinct Approach to Marriage Counselling.

  • Dean's primary client is the couple's relationship (not the two individuals in the relationship). Inexperienced counsellors - or those untrained in relationship work - miss this important aspect when trying to work with a couple.
  • Dean's primary aim is to become redundant: the couple can end their counselling work without thinking that they've become dependant on a counsellor; nor feeling they will have to come back for 'top up' sessions in the future.
  • The couple stay only for as long as it's helping: meaning they might come to counselling for just a handful of sessions, or may choose to stay longer, until the couple can work on their relationship's needs on their own (again). Dean does not set a compulsory minimum (or maximum) period.
  • The couple work with just the one therapist: and Dean practices "neutrality" which means both members of the couple will be understood by a single therapist (no risk of multiple interpretations by multiple therapists in the room). Plus? the common factors that are underlying the couple's relationship problems can be understood and communicated back to them by a single couple counsellor as a single, consistent, understandable whole.
  • Dean does not solve the couple's current relationship problems. Dean is not a "Relationship Expert", doesn't promote his services as being so, and doesn't claim to have solutions and answers for the couple. Instead, Dean focuses on assisting the couple to learn and understand their own problems so that they can address and resolve matters using their own solutions.
  • The couple develop their own unique approach that can be helpful for years to come. Looking at the relationship's problems as if they are a symptom of a system that has become faulty (say, like a washing machine that works until it comes time to rinse). Understanding? and then amending? the relationship's behavioural-system can help the couple understand what's at the centre of their problems. With understanding, the couple can learn to manage & resolve not only current problems? but future ones too? for themselves.
  • Dean involves & immerses the couple in the counselling, rather than operating as a pseudo-advice-giving consultant with-all-the-answers.
  • Dean's couple counselling approach integrates effective systemic and psychodynamic approaches. Rather than using whatever is the latest fad in therapy, Dean successfully applies methods that have been tried and tested for a long time (30+ years: systemic, 100+ years: psychodynamic). This helps the couple (through curiosity, hypothesising & modelling) learn what's happening in their relationship and then helps them develop their own 'fault' resolving strategies.
  • Unlike some couple therapists who respond to questions with 'answers' (whether such generic answers can actually apply to the couple's specific relationship), Dean empowers the couple into being able to answer their own questions by understanding & resolving their own relationship-conflicts. This helps the couple become independent of the counsellor.
  • Boundaries are important: the session is contained within 50 (or 90, optional) minutes, weekly, in a safe room, with the same counsellor. For example, the couple always knows that they can open up (difficult) topics but not fear getting swept up into long arguments? because the session's end time is set.
  • Future "top-up" sessions become unnecessary: the couple ends counselling when they don't need the counsellor any longer. Dean doesn't "fix" the relationship for the couple, he assists the couple in learning how to fix their own relationship problems together. Added bonus: the couple uses the same techniques to manage future difficulties. Once the couple feel that they are more capable at addressing their relationship problems together, they can begin to bring couple counselling to a close without having to come back for "top-up" sessions (as if they'd somehow run out!).

About Havant Counsellor.

You could choose any Havant counsellor.

Yet, when you think that this may be the most personal, private and vulnerable you're going to be with a professional, you'd choose:

  • someone you can trust,
  • someone who demonstrated highly competent skills and ethics,
  • who spoke plain English (not lots of psychobable),
  • who's as happy to swear as much as you do,
  • who makes you an equal part of the therapeutic partnership (e.g. doesn't just sit in silence, saying "Hmm" for 50 minutes)
…then you'd be interested in trying out Dean Richardson MNCS(Acc) MBACP(Accred).

 

A simply private choice, really.

Marriage Counselling Fees.

How my counselling fees work

Unlike NHS services (where you have already paid through NI taxation), private counselling will cost you some money.

Marriage Counselling sessions last for a standard 50 minutes (with optional 90 minute sessions also being available). Sessions are weekly, although you may also attend more than once a week if we both think this would be helpful.

We’ll work until one or more of us thinks we’re done, then we’ll have a conversation about ending.

Marriage Counselling fees are payable on the day of our session.

You may pay your counselling fees online (eg by a bank transfer, credit/debit card payment or PayPal) or pay in person (cash, cheque [made out to Dean Richardson], credit/debit card).

In some circumstances, a lower fee may be negotiable if your income makes private counselling a struggle to afford, and if I have places available. I may not always have any low-fees spaces available, but please ask…

 

Counselling Appointments.

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I offer counselling sessions from 1pm until 9pm (Monday through Friday). After you've chosen an appointment day and time this will stay with you until the end of our work. Sessions are (at a minimum) weekly and of 50 minutes. If you're beginning counselling for the first time, you may choose your preferred session day(s) and time(s) from the following table:-

Couples & Individuals (Havant, Hampshire)
Monday Appointments:1pm2pm3pm4pm5pm6pm7pm8pm
Tuesday Appointments:Not available
Wednesday Appointments:1pm2pm3pm4pm5pm6pm7pm8pm
Thursday Appointments:1pm2pm3pm4pm5pm6pm7pm8pm
Friday Appointments:Not available
Groups (Waterlooville, Hampshire)
Click to go to WaterloovilleCounselling.co.uk
Tuesday Appointments:1pm2pm3pm4pm5pm6pm7pm8pm

Couples & Individuals (Havant, Hampshire)
Mon:7pm
Tue:Not Available
Wed:1pm or 3pm
Thu:5pm or 8pm
Fri:Not Available
Groups (Waterlooville, Hampshire)
Visit WaterloovilleCounselling.co.uk
Tue:1pm, 2pm, 6pm or 7pm

Waiting lists may be available for unlisted times.

Times in red are the most popular, and usually the first to go.

Counselling sessions are (at a minimum) weekly and on the same day and time each week.

Optionally, you may wish to come more than once a week and you can even come for longer than 50 minutes (by prior arrangement).

Our counselling work together continues for as long (or as brief) as we both think it's helpful… and then we'll look at ending.

Fees are due on the day of the session (cash, cheque [made out to Dean Richardson], credit & debit cards).

Ending counselling: rather than one day saying "I'm ending counselling today" it is helpful to bring up the idea of ending counselling first. Sometimes the need to end may be a mask for something else (avoiding difficult feelings, can't say something, acting out loss etc) and it can be helpful to distinguish, together, what ending may mean in our work. We'll talk about endings with some thought and some planning.

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Got a Question? Don't Hold Back…

Got a question about Dean Richardson's counselling services in Havant (Hampshire)? Want to make contact, maybe asking about a first appointment? Send Dean a message any time…