Counselling for Unwanted Sexual Behaviour.
Men trapped in unwanted sexual behaviour DO learn to make changes. Focused on gaining knowledge and understanding, leading to making choices and finding peace. Before an offence takes place, make the move to improve.
Sexual Behaviour Trap.
- Maybe it began with curiosity. You were browsing through Tumblr and came across a sexualised image that aroused you. Maybe you weren’t aware that you could be aroused by such pornography. You became curious and searched for more… and are now concerned about addiction.
- Maybe it began innocently with a partner asking for you to do something for them. It seemed innocent enough to you at the time, but secretly you began to investigate more. You’re on a path that you’re worried will escalate into you behaving inappropriately towards someone. You’re not sure where your sexualised behaviour will lead.
- Maybe it began by accident. Walking home you passed by a neighbour’s window and saw their child running around the living room in the nude. You smiled and the image… then recognised you felt arousal. You’ve begun searching for similar imagery and are now growing concerned about your potential towards child abuse.
- Maybe it began decades ago – when someone committed a sexual offence upon you. Maybe you didn’t know you were being abused. Maybe you couldn’t ask anyone for help. You’ve repressed the experience but are growing in concern that your experiences & behaviour may lead towards committing similar abuse.
Where does a man go when his (out of control? unwanted? thrilling?) sexualised behaviour causes him concern? When he wants to curtail his behaviour before he gets anywhere near committing a sexual offence.
Before Behaviour becomes Offence.
Dean Richardson is a qualified and highly experienced counsellor with over 20 years of counselling experience. He works with men who are desperately concerned that their sexualised behaviour/thinking may be leading them towards them committing an sexualised offence. Or men who simply are struggling to reframe their sexual fantasies into a healthy lifestyle.
If you are not currently harming somebody (i.e. child abuse, child or adult rape, sexual assault, abuse of trust, grooming, and so on – see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_offences_in_the_United_Kingdom), then Dean will be able to work with you in complete privacy, will be able to support your confidentiality, enabling you both to talk freely about your sexual behaviour within a counselling framework. If you are harming someone, the law may not support a counsellor’s ability to keep matters confidential.
- Confidentiality and privacy means that Dean will not make a judgement against you, and will not inform any authorities about your behaviour (whether behaviour means actions, desires or thoughts).
- You do have choices, and working in counselling for Unwanted Sexualised Behaviour can help you strengthen that choice.
- Gain understanding about what your behaviours are asking of you. Understanding brings comprehension, and comprehension brings choice.
- Whilst some therapists think of pornography addiction, Dean doesn’t. Addiction can suggest that you have no choice and that you are helpless. Of course, you may feel very helpless, but there are ways to understand a need to regularly take (and to stop) sexualised imagery. Dean can work with you on this.
- Whilst some sensationalist newspapers talk of “paedophilia” (as if this were an offence in of itself), Dean doesn’t think like that. The sexualised love of children is considered by some to be a sexual orientation. In the UK, one cannot express such orientation towards someone who is under the legal age of consent. Therefore, in counselling, we consider focusing upon managing ones sexual desires in ways that bring peace and management into ones life.
Counselling for Unwanted Sexualised Behaviour aims to empower a man with understanding, comprehension, and helps a man to promote his own changes in direction.
Throughout the counselling relationship, Dean offers a partnership with men – sharing thoughts and knowledge on topics that may help find ways to manage sexualised thoughts and behaviour into a more comfortable lifestyle.
Collaboration is significantly more effective than instruction (without your investment nothing happens – you see no change simply by following someone’s direction), and together you and Dean will forge an alliance to assist with your sexuality and behaviour.
- Privacy – you will not be reported for your behaviour (provided that you are not currently abusing someone).
- Unjudged Conversation – there needs to be a safe environment for you to discuss what’s going on with a fellow human being.
- Comprehension – Dean provides knowledge and exercises that can help you to understand yourself better. With understanding comes choice (and often relief). Being empowers with knowledge helps you make better choices.
- Unlimited sessions – you may have asked a GP about counselling, only to be told they operate a waiting list and a limited number of sessions. Private counselling allows you to choose the number of sessions as you go along (there’s no maximum and no minimum number of sessions). Some men are done in fewer than 6 sessions; others enjoyed the flexibility of more sessions until they felt they had done enough.
You’re Unlikely to Get.
Sometimes, solicitors recommend a pre-trial offender to a counsellor – particularly if it is thought a judge or jury might feel sympathy (see: Pre-Trial Counselling).
Whilst it may be a solicitor’s duty to find, for their client, ways to defend or reduce the likelihood of legal punishment, counselling for sexual offending (pre-offence or post-offence) is not a Get Out of Jail Free Card. There’s work for you to do in counselling… some of it is not easy… and non of it is meant to give someone else an opinion over your suitability (or otherwise) to be given a clean bill of health.
Your therapeutic partnership with Dean helps you work through the therapy to a position your sexualised behaviour and/or thoughts a better place within your life.
- Dean is a counsellor – he will not provide a Risk Assessment Report, will not be a sponsor nor a court defence (nor expert) witness. The therapy work done is private between you and he.
- You are unlikely to come out of counsellor “cured” (meaning all your problems have vanished). Therapy for Unwanted Sexualised Behaviour is more like finding out how to manage an ailment for the rest of your life. An ailment that can move more into the background… and managed by you, rather than you being managed by it.
- There’s no manual or reference book to take away! No “if you follow these ten steps you’ll be finished.” Instead, counselling aims to form an approach that works for you as a unique individual, and you’ll forge it together with Dean into a unique-for-you therapy.
NB: Whilst Dean has taken training courses from StopSO on working with sexual offenders making him eligible to apply for becoming a member of their therapist network, this training is not an endorsement by StopSO of Dean being a suitable therapist for you. Nor is Dean recommending StopSO as being suitable for your needs. Do sufficient research for your needs and make an informed decision.
Get in Contact Today.
Make contact with Dean and you could have your first counselling session arranged within just a few hours.
ADVICE: Few feel comfortable filling in a contact form with explicit information (“I’ve been looking at sexualised images of children”, “I might have raped someone”, “Are my sexual feelings right?”). If you prefer discretion, simply complete the CONTACT FOR COUNSELLING FORM as discretely as you wish and be prepared to be frank when meeting Dean in person.
If you wish, you may obtain an anonymous email account (read about this here: https://thebestvpn.com/anonymous-email/) and use a pseudonym to make contact with Dean; ask your questions and receive a reply whilst remaining anonymous.
After Making Contact.
The first session of counselling is help both you and Dean decide if working together in therapy seems like a good idea.
Take note, though, that Dean must judge if his approach, knowledge, and counselling approach is going to be of help to you. Usually, the first few sessions are productive and you will both find ways to work with each other. It’s not a judgement upon you, though, if Dean concludes he is not the best therapist for your needs; and he will explain to you why he is making such a decision, and he will be able to offer advice on finding a more suitable therapist for your needs.
Private counselling services serving locations near and within central Havant, Petersfield to Waterlooville, Cosham to Portsmouth & Southsea, Southampton to Chichester, Fareham to Gosport, Hayling Island, Emsworth, Westbourne, Rowland's Castle, local residents anywhere in between and regularly further afield!
Click for location details…
About Havant Counsellor.
You could choose any counsellor in and around Havant .
Yet, when you think that this may be the most personal, private and vulnerable you're going to be with a professional, you'd choose:
- someone you can trust,
- someone who demonstrated highly competent skills and ethics,
- who spoke plain English (not lots of psychobable),
- who's as happy to swear as much as you do,
- who makes you an equal part of the therapeutic partnership (e.g. doesn't just sit in silence, saying "Hmm" for 50 minutes)…
A simply private choice, really.
Got a Question? Don't Hold Back…
Got a question about Dean Richardson's counselling services in Havant (Hampshire)? Want to make contact, maybe asking about a first appointment? Send Dean a message any time…