About Divorce Counselling.

When your marriage is ending, and you wish to plan your separation… together.

You may believe: “to get divorced we have to have solicitors act/talk on our behalf”. And for partners who are divorcing who cannot bear to talk with each other, this may very well be true. Yet, meeting with a Divorce Counsellor such as Dean Richardson MNCS(Accredited Registrant) you may be surprise about how effective (emotionally effective and cost effective) planning your own divorce could be. You wouldn’t be the first.

As a Divorce Counsellor, Dean avoids taking on the role of “divorce expert”; experts judge, prescribe and “tell” and Dean’s role is of a counsellor/mediator whose active participation is to empower the couple’s relationship so it can plan and work through the couple’s unique divorce.

Anecdotally, this process has cost some marriages less than having solicitors act & communicate on the couple’s behalf.

When your marriage has reached a stage where it must end, and you both wish to stay amicable to work through the separation together, Dean Richardson would be the divorce counsellor to consider facilitating your marriage’s end.

Havant Counselling Dean Richardson

The divorce counselling process is aimed at empowering the both of you into making your own decisions on how to close your own relationship. Topics that may be considered could include:

  • How the relationship will research necessary tasks (e.g. researching legal matters for later discussion).
  • How to manage separation-conflicts (e.g. when disagreements happen, how the relationship will go about resolving them).
  • Children’s needs.
  • How assets of the marriage (joint bank accounts, the home, pets, other assets) will be managed and/or divided.
  • How personal items will be managed and/or divided (e.g. photographs, mementos).
  • How important paperwork will be exchanged.
  • How each of you will manage your own Divorce File (i.e. a collection of necessary paperwork).
  • Whether you will engage solicitors or not (solicitors do not have to be involved if both of you are collaborating sufficiently well to file your own paperwork).
  • How you will manage legal requirements (e.g. ultimately filing for divorce).

A Summary of Divorce Counselling.

No Waiting

Solicitors and mediation services regularly have to have you wait until they are available to take you on. Going to a private divorce counsellor your first appointment may be arranged for the following week.

Weekly

Divorce counselling sessions are (of a minimum) weekly. This gives you a known date-in-the diary when you will meet your partner for the next round of discussions. Regular sessions also help with budgeting, arranging baby-sitting, and provides a containing safe place where you may both focuses on the divorce.

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Not Time Restricted

Couples’ lives together are not limited by time, so neither is divorce counselling. We’ll first clearly identify the goals, then you will have the weekly sessions to work through the goals together during regular sessions.

Suitable for…

Suitable for adult marriages in any form of marital relationship (traditional, non-traditional, gay, lesbian, same-sex etc). Divorce Counselling helps empower the couple to organise their own separation.

Private counselling services serving locations near and within central Havant, Petersfield to Waterlooville, Cosham to Portsmouth & Southsea, Southampton to Chichester, Fareham to Gosport, Hayling Island, Emsworth, Westbourne, Rowland's Castle, local residents anywhere in between and regularly further afield!

Click for location details…

Distinct Approach to Divorce Counselling.

  • Dean's primary client is the couple's relationship (not the two individuals in the relationship). Inexperienced counsellors - or those untrained in relationship work - miss this important aspect when trying to work with a couple.
  • Dean's primary aim is to become redundant: the couple can end their counselling work without thinking that they've become dependant on a counsellor; nor feeling they will have to come back for 'top up' sessions in the future.
  • The couple stay only for as long as it's helping: meaning they might come to counselling for just a handful of sessions, or may choose to stay longer, until the couple can work on their relationship's needs on their own (again). Dean does not set a compulsory minimum (or maximum) period.
  • The couple work with just the one therapist: and Dean practices "neutrality" which means both members of the couple will be understood by a single therapist (no risk of multiple interpretations by multiple therapists in the room). Plus? the common factors that are underlying the couple's relationship problems can be understood and communicated back to them by a single couple counsellor as a single, consistent, understandable whole.
  • Dean does not solve the couple's current relationship problems. Dean is not a "Relationship Expert", doesn't promote his services as being so, and doesn't claim to have solutions and answers for the couple. Instead, Dean focuses on assisting the couple to learn and understand their own problems so that they can address and resolve matters using their own solutions.
  • The couple develop their own unique approach that can be helpful for years to come. Looking at the relationship's problems as if they are a symptom of a system that has become faulty (say, like a washing machine that works until it comes time to rinse). Understanding? and then amending? the relationship's behavioural-system can help the couple understand what's at the centre of their problems. With understanding, the couple can learn to manage & resolve not only current problems? but future ones too? for themselves.
  • Dean involves & immerses the couple in the counselling, rather than operating as a pseudo-advice-giving consultant with-all-the-answers.
  • Dean's couple counselling approach integrates effective systemic and psychodynamic approaches. Rather than using whatever is the latest fad in therapy, Dean successfully applies methods that have been tried and tested for a long time (30+ years: systemic, 100+ years: psychodynamic). This helps the couple (through curiosity, hypothesising & modelling) learn what's happening in their relationship and then helps them develop their own 'fault' resolving strategies.
  • Unlike some couple therapists who respond to questions with 'answers' (whether such generic answers can actually apply to the couple's specific relationship), Dean empowers the couple into being able to answer their own questions by understanding & resolving their own relationship-conflicts. This helps the couple become independent of the counsellor.
  • Boundaries are important: the session is contained within 50 (or 90, optional) minutes, weekly, in a safe room, with the same counsellor. For example, the couple always knows that they can open up (difficult) topics but not fear getting swept up into long arguments? because the session's end time is set.
  • Future "top-up" sessions become unnecessary: the couple ends counselling when they don't need the counsellor any longer. Dean doesn't "fix" the relationship for the couple, he assists the couple in learning how to fix their own relationship problems together. Added bonus: the couple uses the same techniques to manage future difficulties. Once the couple feel that they are more capable at addressing their relationship problems together, they can begin to bring couple counselling to a close without having to come back for "top-up" sessions (as if they'd somehow run out!).

About Havant Counsellor.

You could choose any counsellor in and around Havant .

Yet, when you think that this may be the most personal, private and vulnerable you're going to be with a professional, you'd choose:

  • someone you can trust,
  • someone who demonstrated highly competent skills and ethics,
  • who spoke plain English (not lots of psychobable),
  • who's as happy to swear as much as you do,
  • who makes you an equal part of the therapeutic partnership (e.g. doesn't just sit in silence, saying "Hmm" for 50 minutes)
…then you'd be interested in trying out Dean Richardson MNCS(Accredited Registrant).

A simply private choice, really.

Couple Counselling Fees.

How Counselling Fees Work.

Unlike NHS services (where you have already paid through NI taxation), private counselling will cost you some money.

Couple Counselling sessions are weekly, and last for a standard 50 minutes (with the option to book 90 minute sessions if you both prefer). Although sessions are once a week (except for holidays), you may also attend more than once a week if all three of us think that this would be helpful.

Our sessions will continue one or more of us thinks that we've done enough; then we'll have a conversation about bringing our counselling work to a close.

Fees are payable on the day of our session.

You may pay your counselling fees online (e.g. by a bank transfer, credit/debit card payment or PayPal) or pay in person (cash, cheque [made out to Dean Richardson], credit/debit card).

Restricted Income: If I have spaces available, a lower fee is negotiable should your income make private counselling a struggle to afford. This is not charity (you still must contribute a fee) and it will involve discussing your income and expenditure with the aim to discover a rate that you can afford responsibly. I do not always have any lower-fee spaces available, so please ask when you first get in contact.

Counselling Appointments.

I offer counselling sessions on Mondays and Thursdays (5pm until 10pm) and Wednesdays (noon to 4pm). After we have agreed a day & time for your weekly counselling, this appointment will stay with you until the end of our work. Sessions are (at a minimum) weekly and of 50 minutes (with 90 minute sessions sometimes available). When beginning counselling for the first time you may choose your preferred session day(s) and time(s) from the following table:-

Couples & Individuals (Havant, Hampshire)
Monday Appointments:Waiting list (contact me to discuss)
Tuesday Appointments:Not available
Wednesday Appointments:1pm2pm3pm4pm5pm6pm7pm8pm
Thursday Appointments:Waiting list (contact me to discuss)
Friday Appointments:Not available
Groups (Waterlooville, Hampshire)
Click to go to WaterloovilleCounselling.co.uk
Tuesday Appointments:Waiting list (contact me to discuss)

Couples & Individuals (Havant, Hampshire)
Mon:Waiting List (contact me)
Tue:Not Available
Wed:2pm
Thu:Waiting List (contact me)
Fri:Not Available
Groups (Waterlooville, Hampshire)
Visit WaterloovilleCounselling.co.uk
Tue:Waiting List (contact me)

Waiting lists may be available for unlisted times.

Dean will be unavailable during the Summer bank holiday (26th August).

Times in red are the most popular, and usually the first to go.

Counselling sessions are (at a minimum) weekly and on the same day and time each week.

Optionally, you may wish to come more than once a week and you can even come for longer than 50 minutes (by prior arrangement).

Our counselling work together continues for as long (or as brief) as we both think it's helpful… and then we'll look at ending.

Fees are due on the day of the session (cash, cheque [made out to Dean Richardson], credit & debit cards).

Ending counselling: rather than one day saying "I'm ending counselling today" it is helpful to bring up the idea of ending counselling first. Sometimes the need to end may be a mask for something else (avoiding difficult feelings, can't say something, acting out loss etc) and it can be helpful to distinguish, together, what ending may mean in our work. We'll talk about endings with some thought and some planning.

Free Appointment Notifications!

Are your preferred appointments not available? Register now to get notified when they are…

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Your email address will only be used to send you new appointment information. Your subscription lasts for one month, after which it expires automatically (no need to unsubscribe).

Planned Breaks.

The following table lists the dates of my planned breaks this year (i.e. when I am not available).

  • Monday 26th August 2019.
  • Monday 16th September 2019 to Sunday 22nd September 2019 (7 days).
  • Monday 28th October 2019 to Sunday 3rd November 2019 (7 days).
  • Monday 16th December 2019 to Thursday 2nd January 2020 (18 days).

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Got a Question? Don't Hold Back…

Got a question about Dean Richardson's counselling services in Havant (Hampshire)? Want to make contact, maybe asking about a first appointment? Send Dean a message any time…