Page Loading...

Online Counselling for Blokes 👍.The Local Shoulder that Men Lean On.

Dean Richardson - the reliable bloke you can talk with when it's all going a bit bollocks…When men are seeking someone online to lean on ~ particularly when they can't speak with friends or family ~ a local male counsellor (available UK nationwide via video conferencing; Dean calls in from Havant) - who's also an ordinary bloke - can be an amazing relief to find. Discuss Bloke-Stuff in private and in confidence.

STOP-PRESS: still available on Skype & Zoom video. Tap for info…

STOP-PRESS: counselling continues to be available via reliable & confidential Skype / Zoom Video ~ ideal for self-isolation & shielding. Click here for details…

STOP-PRESS: Secure Skype & Zoom video counselling still available. Tap for info…

Havant Counselling near Hayling Island
Havant Counselling near Spring Theatre
Havant Counselling near the train station
Havant Counselling behind Davies Pharmacy
Havant Counselling near Old House at Home
Slide 1
Slide 2
Slide 3
Slide 3
Slide 3

Men Use Counselling 👍🏻

What if a bloke could meet another bloke to talk about some straightforward, helpful assistance?

This is something men can actually use. Sure, you might be thinking : “Do I really need a male counsellor!”

After all, men who struggle with seemingly un-manly feelings like anxiety, depression, and suffering from un-manly behaviour like forgetting how to get to work, and other not-easily-explained-away events, may look for someone local or online that they can trust with unfamiliar, uncomfortable, unexplained experiences.

The thing is: are men really able to recognise how helpful counselling can? I’d say: enormously so! 🤔

Let me tell you some good news…

We’re just blokes; and as a bloke sometimes we just want to talk stuff over with another bloke… in private, no tricks, no tests. Unfortunately, when we have something we can’t tell our mates down the pub or share with anyone in our family, who do we turn to?

Sure, a majority of counsellors across the UK are women. As a man looking for another man for his counsellor we might feel much more comfortable discussing some of our more private, secret and serious matters with another bloke!

This is when we find Counselling for Men useful. Someone who is offering support and useful stuff for men suffering various ailments (anxiety, depression, unexplained behaviour, sex/sexuality difficulties).

And the good news about Counsellor Dean Richardson MNCPS (Accred/Reg)…

…he’s also just a bloke.

Counsellor Dean Richardson

What is Men’s Counselling?

Here’s the low-down:

Counselling as a concept isn’t all about tears, emotions, grabbing a tissue nor confessing to the counsellor why we’re feeling like a failure. This is what a lot of men think it is.

Some of us counsellors understand that humans are made up of much more than just emotions: we’ are thoughts, behaviours, somatic responses and (occasionally) our bodies and minds doing shit-illy odd things that bother us (especially when can’t figure out what’s going on on our own). All this, in addition to that emotional stuff I mentioned! Knowing this can make the difference between men’s counselling and general counselling.

Men’s Counselling can assist us in sifting through the tough crap in order to help us begin to see the light of day and get back to a version of normal that works for us.

Also, when thinking about meeting with a male counsellor, it can take a bloke a hell of a lot of courage to walk into the room (or switch on his computer camera for online counselling) ready to talk with a stranger for the first time.

But, as men, we find that courage… and we find that counselling can turn out to be a helpful resource.

Thinking, Feeling, Behaving and Somatising - Men in Therapy

Partnership Solely with You.

Fortunately… men seeking counselling are relieved to learn that Dean Richardson works in a form of partnership with men (rather than sitting in silence, occasionally saying “Hmmm”, asking about feelings or suggesting we waft scarfs…). In a way, he offers therapeutic approaches for men with various sufferings (albeit that the “therapy” is discovered via a process that involves conversations with you, rather than prescribing “you should do this to feel better”).

These partnerships… or therapeutic alliances … help both blokes in the room to find understanding and (re)solutions that actually begin to address problems. As well as forging a bond that can become enormously valuable, sometimes never experienced before.

Whilst there still may be truth in the phrase: “Men Think, Women Feel”, counselling for men is about finding help that works specifically you… particularly when shit hasn’t been working all that well lately.

Thinking Man Image

Video Counselling from your Home

...from your office, your car, your hotel, or even on a hike.

Dean has over 24 years experience of working in counselling, incorporating 16 years working via secure video conferencing apps (Zoom, Skype, etc). This means you can meet with Dean without ever having to leave home.

You can work with Dean in counselling remotely from your home, your office, your car (yup - some clients like to drive somewhere secluded for their sessions), or even your hotel room if you're away on business. Some people even like to go on a walk, or sit on a park bench. Provided their privacy is being looked after, Dean has no problems working like this.

Counselling sessions work in the same way as face-to-face sessions, except that you won't have to travel to, nor from, Dean's location.

Like to know more?

Video Counsellor Dean Richardson on a Macbook Air

Counselling Benefits.

v

Blokes

Suitable for a bloke who wants to talk in confidence about the shit he can’t go into with his mates down the pub. And who wants to meet with another bloke in an all-male setting.

}

Brief or Longer

Some blokes work fast, and some want more time. Dean’s service is not limited by time nor a set number of sessions. We can be creative together and decide as we go along, or set a number of sessions up front.

Weekly

As a minimum, counselling will be 50 minutes each week. But you may come more often and there are 90 minute sessions. It’s about catering for a wide rage of blokes’ needs.

Begin Soon

When you contact your GP, or telephone your local charity counselling service, you will often find you have to wait for weeks… or months. Meeting with Dean can be as soon as next week.

Private counselling near me serving the UK Nationwide over Zoom & Skype, plus locations in and around central Havant, Petersfield to Waterlooville, Cosham to Portsmouth & Southsea, Southampton to Chichester, Fareham to Gosport, Hayling Island, Emsworth, Westbourne, Rowland's Castle, local residents anywhere in between and regularly further afield!

Stuff Men Discuss in Therapy.

How can you actually use counselling?

Let’s face it – you’re an intelligent bloke. You’re interested in learning what’s going on with you and why you might seek a counsellor. So what kinds of topics do men regularly seek to work upon in counselling?

About Debilitating Anxiety.

With Counselling for Anxiety in Men we’ll work with the debilitating aspects of your mind’s response to stress and the unknown. The kind of anxiety we’re talking about here isn’t “feeling a bit anxious”; we’re talking about the exhausting, draining horror (eg terrorising chest pain) when unmanaged feelings of fear or apprehension about what’s to come leaves a man weakened and incapable of action. In doing so, we release you from being disabled back into being effective again.

About Anger or Rage.

With Counselling for Men’s Anger we’ll look at your anger or rage as a form of communication. When a man’s position on something becomes untenable, men can find angry behaviour (e.g. threatening physical violence) can appear to get them heard… very quickly! The problem, though, comes when anger & rage acts out by itself, out of control. The man is unable to communicate what he actually needs (e.g. “why I am angry”, “what situation I want to change”, “what I need from you”); he fails to get across what he needs. This is not anger management, this is anger comprehension. Gaining understanding invites the man to make informed decisions on how he manages his emotion. In counselling we’ll learn what fuels anger to loosen its grip and to give some choices on how differently you might want to respond.

About Depression in Men.

We’re blokes. We get up, we work, we (sometimes) achieve goals, we go home. When something knocks us off our feet we might call it man flu! So when depression kicks in (and I don’t just mean “feeling sad”) many of us men don’t know what it is, nor how to deal with it.

Taking anti-depressants can mask the symptoms of depression, but they don’t address the cause. Counselling for Depression in Men can help work through the root-cause(s) and to relieve the depression.

About Life Events and Stages.

Sometimes life events catch us off guard. We’re running along happily and then we have news: “I’m pregnant!”. We didn’t know that we’d panic, or that we’d think: “I won’t be able to handle this”. Life stages can take us unprepared: buying a house, getting married, having children, changing jobs, becoming redundant, a celebration going too far (drunkenness), children leaving home, retirement. A sudden jolt plus having no-one talk with can be awful… until you think about some short-term counselling.

About Sex and Masturbation (Wanking).

Let’s face it: wanking is one of the best things us blokes have been given! Yet, when masturbation begins to interfere with our relationships, or other parts of our lives, losing the pleasure of having a wank once, twice or more times a day becomes to be problem. When a man’s life changes (he forms a significant relationship, he suffers ill health, he gets older) his own relationship with sex and masturbation may become a struggle to change too.

About Gender and Gender Identity.

Sometimes, some of our thoughts, our feelings and our behaviour might make us believe we’re becoming something “men aren’t supposed to do”. Quite different from male-to-female (MTF) and female-to-male (FTM) gender reassignment, or being “gay”, as blokes we can learn the language our heads speak in.

About Emotional Overload.

Blokes were taught not to show emotions. So where do we put them? Suppressing emotions works for many of us… for a time… until there are too many things to suppress, and then we’re in trouble. Think: emotional rubbish bin that’s not being emptied.

About Work Stress.

As men we were designed to kill boars to feed our family. Working on computer, in offices, in meetings can sometimes feel so wrong for us. We grow with work stress and can’t manage. In counselling we’ll look at the root causes of work stress (sometimes not so obvious) to help you manage more effectively.

About Not Knowing what the Fuck is going on!

As men, we’re kinda supposed to be in charge (sorry, but we can feel that we are). So when our heads and bodies start to give off symptoms and we don’t know what the fuck is going on… we’ll bury it! Talking with Dean in counselling can help you get an idea of what your head and heart are saying, so that you can go supply what your body needs.

About Sexual Abuse of Men.

As boys, if we were sexually abused (whether mildly or severely) it’s possible that we had no-one to turn to; no-one who would believe us. So we kept our abuse to ourselves. We might even have thought it was our fault. Today our abusers are being outed and prosecuted. Counselling for Sexual Abuse in Men can help bring the closure we need.

About Grief & Loss.

Loss isn’t always about death; it can be about loss of an experience (childhood), position (chairmanship of local club), schedule (job) and lots more. When we don’t grieve loss (e.g. ignoring it), loss can way heavy in the background making life increasingly difficult. We’re unable to resolve the weight because we stopped paying attention to cause. 

About Physical Violence or Bullying.

If you’re experiencing physical violence (whether harm done to you or you’re harming others) we’ll work out ways to help manage the abuse, and to have it stop. If this is due to your anger, for example, we’ll look at the causes behind the anger.

If violence is related to bullying (whether you or someone else is the bully), we can talk about what’s behind the behaviour to bring understanding. With understanding you can interrupt and bypass your violent behaviour.

About Relationship Difficulties.

Assistance in helping you understand what might be going wrong in your marriage/partnership… and how to change things.

We can talk about why your mates always seem to end up telling you to ‘fuck off’, or why each of your new relationships keep ending suddenly, or why it’s harder for you to just get along with those other people who seem to have so much baggage nowadays.

About Business Behavioural Skills.

Corporate workplaces can lead our stress levels to climb. It appears to us that only those working 24/7/365 get promoted and we can’t give that amount of effort. We can talk about how to manage your needs so that you might work in a way that fits much better with how you’re built.

About our Sexuality.

The number of ‘modern’ men today seem to have no problem about their fluid-sexuality, It seems that every week someone famous tells us about their non-standard sexuality. Is it really non-standard? We can talk together about any sexuality confusion you may be having to help you understand, come to terms, and find peace with it.

About Growing Older and Death.

Time passes, we grow, we get stronger, life is good. Then we notice changes, perhaps we’re balding, we’re less strong, less fast, we notice that more of our peers are dying. The phrase “over the hill” begins to mean something to us, and we grow frightened. This wasn’t supposed to happen to us. Talking through our concerns with a counsellor can help put things into perspective, and frees us to enjoy the fewer stages of life that we have left.

About Cross-dressing / transvestism.

I know that cross-dressing (transvestism, drag etc) isn’t necessarily a reflection on one’s sexuality. Dressing in another identity’s clothes is a relief for many who identify otherwise as cis-male and/or heterosexual. But ones family, friends, and social position can make cross-dressing something we keep secret, and such secrets can wear us down…

About Using our Heads.

As blokes, we can tend to ‘act’ and ‘think’ rather than “feel”. Differences between emotions and thoughts: if I ask you “how do you feel” and your answer is to describe your behaviour, perhaps feelings are a foreign language.

About Unwanted Sexual Behaviour & Sexual Offences.

Are you concerned about your sexual behaviour escalating towards committing an offence?

Have you discovered sexual imagery on the Internet that has excited you, but now you can’t stop looking; effecting your life?

Have you engaged in sexual experiences that you have to keep secret, and now the stress is getting on top of you?

Maybe you have already committed an act that the law might call “gross indecency” or a “sexual offence” and you wish desperately to talk about moving your behaviour towards a better place?

The first thing I’d want you to know is that provided no-one else is being harmed I will be able to offer you complete confidentiality and privacy. This is so that we may talk about what’s on your mind and to help you plan a way forward out of distressing sexualised behaviour. You DO have a choice about your sexual behaviour… and I can help you strengthen such choice. I offer an unjudged therapeutic relationship that will allow us (maybe a bit at a time – depending on how well you manage the sessions) to talk about what happened, what is happening, where thing are going, and how to plan behaviour that will suit you better in the future.

Click to see main page on Unwanted Sexual Behaviour in Men…

Does Counselling Work?

If a main aim of counselling is to reduce distress levels (by bringing understanding to counter fear and raise personal affect) in order to promote self-autonomy and to discover ones own solutions, then every client using counselling with Dean* experienced an improvement in their distress levels.

Before Counselling Begins…After Counselling Ends…
[Severe][Low Level]
[Moderately Severe][Mild]
[Moderate][Healthy]
[Mild][Healthy]

*The table uses anonymous data from individuals counselling with Dean Richardson MNCPS (Accred/Reg) during 2009-2010.

Data was taken and measured using CORE Outcome Measure (CORE-OM 34).

CORE-OM 34 covers four dimensions: subjective well-being, problems / symptoms, life functioning and risk/harm.

The data shows that every client experienced improvements in distress levels.

Why Men Choose Counselling.

Counsellor Dean Richardson MNCPS (Accred/Reg) has been a popular choice for men seeking a private counsellor in Havant, or online, for a good handful of years, now.

As men, when we have a tonne of crap on our shoulders, it can appear as if society expects us to just shut up and carry on.

A bloke can be himself in Therapy.

We need a break.

Counselling for Blokes can be a place where a man can be just himself, work through some important stuff, and then go home.

One wouldn’t break a leg and be expected to “walk it off.” So why do many of us men treat a mental break with any less seriousness?

In counselling, a man doesn’t have to be concerned about any other person’s needs other than his own. He doesn’t have to remember to bring home the shopping, get the baby’s nappies, bring home a gift for his partner (for an anniversary that he forgot again), be politically correct, or watch his language.

Sometimes, a man needs a place where he can give up the stereotypically macho appearance he thinks is expected of him.

Tools and Processes.

Let’s face it – we’re just plain old blokes.

In the far distant past, as men, our job was to go out and kill Woolly Mammoths in order to feed our families. We were not required to understand things from the mammoth’s point of view.

Although not seeing things from the other person’s point of view was a strength long ago, modern life can be perplexing for some of us men. Situations such as:-

  • why our partner has become annoyed with us,
  • why the kids are making us have a headache again,
  • why, one morning, we suddenly forgot the direction to drive to work,
  • why our boss has just unloaded a shit load of pain on us, why we can’t sleep at night,
  • why we’re get addicted to stuff that’s not very healthy for our bodies,
  • why sometimes we get irrational pains in our chests, can’t breath, and we think we’re dying (sometimes called a ‘panic attack’),
  • why we just dumped a tonne of rage onto a customer.

Why Dean’s Approach?

How does the following information strike you?

  • 63% of Dean Richardson’s clients (2012-2013) were male. Summer 2015, 100% of clients were male. These measurements are regularly repeated with Dean’s counselling caseload being made up of a majority of adult men, of all ages (teenage to retired).
  • Think of counselling as a professional providing you with a service you’re buying (doctor, dentist, solicitor, estate agent…). There’s nothing weak or feeling a failure in purchasing a service that benefits you.
  • Counselling can be brief or longer term. Just a couple of sessions can be just enough to get back on your feet again.
  • Knowledge: in counselling, we’ll shed some understanding on some of the odd behaviour that might be going on around you. New knowledge helps make newer decisions.
  • Cognitive / Somatic / Behavioural / Feelings: we’ll look at matters going on for you from a 360° perspective (not just looking at “feelings”).
  • We’ll aim to get you back on your feet soon… then we’ll prepare to say “bye!” (because ending counselling well can be as important as beginning it well).
Dean rarely sits in total silence for the whole session (or just “hmm”‘s at you). He doesn’t ask you to fill out forms, give you tests, paint your feelings, waft scarves in the air, look at ink blots, or make you talk about stuff that you really don’t want to.

It’s pretty much two men, seated in chairs, having a really good conversation… a conversation with a specific and helpful purpose.

About Dean @ Havant Counselling.

You could choose any counsellor in and around Havant, 'natch!

Yet, when you think that this may be the most personal, private and vulnerable you're going to be with someone professional, you'd probably choose:

  • someone you can grow to trust,
  • someone who demonstrates highly competent skills, ethics and sensitivity.
  • someone who speaks plain English (rather than psychobabble),
  • someone who's as happy to use base/swearing language as much (or as little) as you do,
  • someone who considers himself a frank, no bullshit counsellor, particularly you when you're in need of an authentic response (rather than an "hmm"),
  • someone who would become an equal part of your therapeutic partnership (e.g. doesn't just sit mostly in silence for 50 minutes).
Does this peak your interest in meeting Dean @ Havant Counselling to experience all of this this for real?

Counsellor Dean Richardson MNCPS (Accred/Reg) - a simply private choice.

Individual Counselling Fees.

How Counselling Fees Work.

Unlike NHS services (where you have already paid through NI taxation), private counselling will cost you some money.

Individual Counselling sessions are weekly, and last for a standard 50 minutes (with the option to book 90 minute sessions if you prefer). Although sessions are once a week (except for holidays), you may also attend more than once a week if we both think that this would be helpful.

Our sessions will continue one or both of us thinks that we've done enough; then we'll have a conversation about bringing our counselling work to a close.

Fees are payable on the day of our session.

You may pay your counselling fees online (e.g. by a bank transfer, credit/debit card payment or PayPal) or pay in person (cash, cheque [made out to Dean Richardson], credit/debit card).

Restricted Income: If I have spaces available, a lower fee is negotiable should your income make private counselling a struggle to afford. This is not charity (you still must contribute a fee) and it will involve discussing your income and expenditure with the aim to discover a rate that you can afford responsibly. I do not always have any lower-fee spaces available, so please ask when you first get in contact.

Appointments for Counselling.

NB: My Core Practice Hours are: Mondays, Wednesdays & Thursdays from noon to 9pm (last session 8pm). I am unavailable outside of these times.

Decide on your preferred Weekly Day & Time.

When you make Contact with Dean, refer to the table below for the currently available weekly appointment times. Sessions are 50 minutes in length (as standard) and can be extended to 90 minutes by prior arrangement.

Available Appointments for Counselling
Couples & Individual Video Counselling (Zoom, Skype…)
Monday Appointments:12pm1pm2pm3pm4pm5pm6pm7pm8pm
Tuesday Appointments:This day is not available for bookings
Wednesday Appointments:12pm1pm2pm3pm4pm5pm6pm7pm8pm
 Waiting list available (contact me to discuss…)
Thursday Appointments:12pm1pm2pm3pm4pm5pm6pm7pm8pm
Friday Appointments:This day is not available for bookings
Weekend Appointments:This day is not available for bookings
TIP:
  • The times listed in red are the most popular and fastest to be taken.
Appointments for Counselling
Day of WeekTimes of Day
Couples & Individual Video Counselling (Zoom, Skype…)
Mon:4pm or 5pm
Tue:Not available
Wed:Waiting List (contact me)
Thu:3pm-5pm
Fri:Not available
W/E:Not available
Book your Counselling Appointment todayBook your preferred appointment(s) by completing my Contact me for Counselling form…
Receive Free Counselling NotificationsIs your preferred appointment not available? Register now for free notifications…
Counselling Appointments Available
Dean is on leave for Easter (29/3 to 5/4).

Due to a busy time few appointments are currently available. Cases do conclude from time to time and you're welcome to reserve your preferred appointments for when they become available (get in touch…).

Popular Counselling Appointments are chosen firstTimes shown in red are regularly the first to be booked.

Counselling sessions are (at a minimum) weekly, last for up to 50 minutes, and on the same day/time each week. 

There are options for you to meet with your counsellor more than once a week.

There are also options for you to choose  up to 90 minute sessions too. 

(Shift-workers: my regular weekly approach & limited hours may not be able to accommodate your shift pattern very well).

Fees are due before or on the day of the session (payable online via banking app transfer, credit/debit card or PayPal, in person using cash, card or cheque [made out to Dean Richardson]).

Ending counselling: Our time together continues for as long (or as brief) as we both think it's being helpful… and when one of us thinks "maybe that's enough" we can begin to look at bringing our work to a close (it can be helpful to bring up the idea of ending counselling to talk it through, just in case our work has brought up something difficult like avoiding difficult feelings, can't say something, acting out etc). Then we'll plan how we'd like to say "goodbye".

    Free Appointment Notifications!

    Are your preferred appointments not available? Register now to get notified when they are…

    Your full name:

    Your email address:

    Your age:
    Confirms I'm suitable for your
    relationship.

    Your gender:
    Helps me address you correctly

    Note that you're supplying just one contact name, right now.
    When an appointment becomes available Dean will email this contact asking for the full contact form to be completed ASAP. For couple & group counselling, this is how you'll provide the relevant information at the time, and how we will engage in starting our therapy contract.

    Your Location(s):
    Town/city plus country (required for jurisdiction of my practice)

    Days/times you prefer:
    Sessions begin on the hour. Appointments are available Mondays, Wednesdays & Thursdays from noon to 9pm (last session 8pm).

    What type of counselling:

    Brief description of what you're looking for from counselling:
    This helps me flag where another counsellor would be a better match for you.

    Important: Counselling Services are via video only (Smartphone, Tablet, Laptop etc); I have no plans to resume in-person counselling services. Your email address will only be used to send you newly available appointment information. Your subscription lasts for up to two months, after which it expires automatically (no need to unsubscribe).

    Planned Breaks.

    The following table lists the dates of my planned breaks this year (i.e. when I am not available).

    • Friday 29th March 2024 to Friday 5th April 2024 (8 days).
    • Monday 6th May 2024 to Sunday 12th May 2024 (7 days).
    • Monday 27th May 2024 to Sunday 2nd June 2024 (7 days).
    • Monday 8th July 2024 to Sunday 28th July 2024 (21 days).
    • Monday 26th August 2024 to Sunday 1st September 2024 (7 days).
    • Monday 7th October 2024 to Sunday 13th October 2024 (7 days).
    • Monday 11th November 2024 to Sunday 17th November 2024 (7 days).
    • Monday 16th December 2024 to Thursday 2nd January 2025 (18 days).

    iCal Subscription

    You can incorporate Dean's Planned Breaks (setting your own alerts, colours, highlights etc) into your personal, online calendar (GMail, Outlook, iCloud Calendar etc) by using the iCal protocol.

    The iCal URL for Havant Counselling is: https://iCounsellor.co.uk/iCounsellorBreaks.ical

    Example: Embedding iCal using Google Calendar…

    • Go to your Google Calendar.
    • Under the section Other Calendars click the + button (titled: Add other calendars).
    • Select From URL.
    • Enter this URL: https://iCounsellor.co.uk/iCounsellorBreaks.ical
    • Click Add calendar.
     

    After a few seconds Google will display "Calendar Added". You may now exit out of Settings back to your calendars to see that Dean's planned breaks have been added to your calendar. You may also customise the new calendar's colours, name, alert settings (etc) if your calendar app allows.

    Location Image
    The Cove Therapy Rooms, 12 West Street Havant Hampshire PO9 1PF UK
    +442392987487£30-£100
    10 Users (7 votes)
    Page Rating
    What people say... Leave your rating
    Sort by:

    Be the first to leave a review.

    User Avatar
    {{{review.rating_comment | nl2br}}}

    Show more
    {{ pageNumber+1 }}
    Leave your rating

    Got a Question? Don't Hold Back…

    Got a question about Dean Richardson's counselling services in Havant (Hampshire)? Want to make contact, maybe asking about a first appointment? Send Dean a message any time…

    All the Rage

    Featured Image(s):